SAATCHI & SAATCHI COMPTON LTD.

11th October 1985

Simon,

I am very much in need of the £20 you owe me, and telephoning you again was too stressful a prospect.

I am absolutely stunned by your behaviour and find it hard to comprehend how irresponsible someone could be after getting me pregnant. YOU DIDN'T EVEN PHONE TO SEE HOW I WAS, after I had my abortion. And now I cannot even extract your share of payment for the operation, you who drink champagne as if it were water. I suppose I should not be that surprised when I am dealing with someone who compares the problem of an unwanted pregnancy with the absence of a PA system for a gig!

I have zero desire to ever clap eyes on you again as long as I live, so drop the money by Saatchi's as soon as you can please. Sorry for being inconsiderate Simon, what I meant to say was if you have £20, please drop it by Saatchi's if it's not too much trouble. By the way, I didn’t have the money either. I had to sell some very precious jewellery.

Perhaps I should have sent you the bloody foetus for a touch of social realism, which your imagination seems to be lacking.
I honestly pity anyone who ever has the misfortune of knowing you, or even worse of being your bed partner. By the way, it wasn't even fun.